Oh Mother...The Blood! The Blood!

Please tell me that's red paint. Please?

Not Interested...

The very definition of "Prissy Pants."

Dot's Nice

Nice boots. Nice legs. Nice gaystache. All the rest can go.

"It's for You!"

Someone's suffering from elephant buildup.

TV Stand from Hell

How to protect you TV from flooding while still maintaining the wren population.

Stainmaster

Apparently Gramma suffered from Dippity-Do buildup.

From Bad...

From Pottery Barn's Chaos Collection.

...To Worse

The addition of a mirror apparently multiplies ugly geometrically.

Creepshow

"Yessir, ladies and gentlemen; this mirror can make any room look like a horror movie!"

"He's Dead?!?"

If Liberace were reincarnated as a chair.

And matching carpet.

Return of the Plastic Flowers

Ain't nothin' a hunk o' plastic flowers can't perty up.

Mary Had a Little Lamb

I'd like to think the juxtaposing seen here was done for the comedic value, but I'm not putting any money on it.

Guest Room

Gramma don't live here no more...