Peasant Green

"I don't know, Chin-Li. I woke up this morning and found it in the middle of the rice field."

"Dude - Is That My Sandwich???"

Another inviolate rule of estate sales - remove the couch potato before snapping pictures of the couch. Also...

...No Dagwoods allowed on the furniture.

Ron Jeremy's Draining the Liquor Cabinet!

Sometimes even aging porn stars can look classy...

Never Used (for Stargazing)

Comes with free bottle of baby oil and a washcloth.

Magic Mirror On the Wall...

Two recommendations:

1. Never ever "antique" a mirror, and
   
2. Get the f*cking boxes out of the way before taking the picture!

Burn Vic

"What a lovely antique doll. Let me take a closer look..."

"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!"

"Gee Our Old LaSalle Ran Great..."

The plastic flowers just got back from the cleaners...

"I Love You..."

Somebody skinned Barney and turned him into a Barcalounger.

Robot of Doom!

They actually had this monstrosity sitting in their living room. I think it might be what ultimately killed them.

They're Cuckoo!

A lovely scroll work clock, complete with 1988 yearbook picture.

Note the generous cleavage and Alfalfa hairdo:

How?

Nothing celebrates Native American culture better than butt-ugly, plastic covered lamps.

Fright Night

"Yes children...once a year, near the end of December, a bearded transvestite will crawl down our chimney, stuff you in a sack and sell you to child pornographers in Thailand. And if you're nice you might get a Transformer."

Where Does the Bed End...

...and the wall begin???

Not to mention the twisted animal drawings over the beds...

"The Ambassador is in the Green Room, Mr. President."

OK - which is worse: the dangerously hideous green wallpaper, or the dyspeptic cat hanging in the gilded frame?